I've found myself thinking a lot about my life right now,
and I realized something. I realized that everything I have now is what I was wishing and hoping for years ago. I am living what 22 year old me was dreaming of. But it’s not like all my life’s dreams came true. It’s the little things we tend to take for granted.
It hit me like a ton of bricks one night I was putting my soon to be 5 year old daughter to sleep, and she looks up at me with her big brown eyes and says in her little mouse voice, “Read a story, mom?”
And I was just like wow. This is a moment I dreamed about many times; reading a bedtime story to my daughter. I am literally living the “one day” I could only imagine in my younger years.
I remember wondering what my children would be like, what being a mother would be like. The longer I was with my husband, the more I realized I wanted that for my future. I wanted children with him. I wanted my own little family, and imagining what my life would be like was just a bunch of blanks. I had no idea, nothing to go off of, but it was fun to think about anyway. Now, I have a mini me who is too pure for this world and goofy as hell.
My relationship with my husband was long distance from the jump and remained long distance for the better part of 3-4 years. Now, I get to see his annoying ass every day. I remember wishing for the day I’d get to just eat dinner with him every night and go to bed together in the same bed.
I remember living in the dorms or renting a shitty tiny apartment in college and just wishing and hoping for the day we could have our own home that was ours. We could do whatever we wanted to it, not have to worry about leases or moving. Now, we’ve renovated the better part of the home we bought together nearly three years ago in the perfect little town of Lewiston.
From the outside looking in, I gave up what could have been a fast famous and furious lifestyle for something small, rural, mundane, maybe a bit stereotypical, but I knew that. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had to do to get there and I can’t describe the relief I get when I just stop, look around and realize this is everything I wanted.
It’s just crazy to stop and notice all of your daydreams have become reality. Like whoa. This is it. This is what I wanted. It’s happening. This is my life now. I hope more people do this more often. All of the things you may complain about or take for granted today are the things you might have been praying for yesterday.
Being grateful is so rare these days, but I’m glad I still have it in me to put things into perspective. I think that’s honestly the key to happiness: perspective.
As our lives change every day, so do our hopes, wants and dreams. We’re insatiable. We always want more, bigger and better. I hope if you’ve read this far, you can take a moment to look back on your life, and realize not what dreams have yet to come to fruition, but which ones already have. Take the time to enjoy that victory.
